One day all the gaps in our knowledge will be filled. This article was published in 2005 and is still doing the rounds… no pun intended. The comments accompanying the article, most of them made this year, are funnier than the original article.

Toilet paper has a natural curve, a way of being that lends itself to certain orientations on the toilet paper spool. If handled with skill and knowledge, it can provide an abundance of both sanitation and comfort, quilted together in each square of pillowy ply. If handled with clumsy ignorance, or worse, carelessness, it will beset the user with pain, filth, and frustration. Don’t let it end this way, with you curled on the tile floor of the stall, weeping in frustration, covered in wasted papier de toilette.