Kenobi no longer a threat to the Empire… on this side of the force

Monday, 16 May, 2011

Darth Vadar announces the death of Obi Wan Kenobi, who the Empire had been hunting for two decades:

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader’s own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

Unfortunately for the Empire and its cohorts however, Kenobi’s death is not the end of the matter, the Jedi Master in a statement issued prior to the attack that resulted in his death, said that striking him down would only make him “more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”

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How Agile development methodologies almost saved an empire

Tuesday, 29 March, 2011

Darth Vader took a few leaves from Agile software development methodologies in order to ensure that the second Death Star (in Return of the Jedi) was operational, according to the Emperor’s specifications:

Enter Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith and Project Manager. He is here to put this thing back on track. The Client (in this case, the Emperor), doesn’t want to hear any more excuses. They want results, and they wanted them yesterday. So, Vader takes an Agile approach. He prioritizes the features list (“Look, we really need the big laser thing; our customers will just have to come to us at first.”), and he works in vertical slices. At the end of the movie, it seems to have paid off. There are still huge pieces missing and construction is nowhere near complete, but “Those weapon systems are operational!”

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A galaxy far, far away that was choke full of mistakes

Wednesday, 15 July, 2009

Seven of the most significant blunders from the Star Wars movies

In Episode IV, Admiral Motti, riding high on the whole “Death Star” thing, finally decides he’s going to tell Vader off just like he practiced over the phone with his mother. After bragging that he’s not scared of Vader, he tells him that his “sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the rebels’ hidden fortress… [Choking sounds].” Clearly Motti doesn’t realize that he was only named for the sake of the action figure packaging and will not be returning for any of the sequels.

I don’t see Obi-Wan’s line “You can’t win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine” feature however… just how powerful can a ghost – hanging about on a swamp planet at that – possibly be?

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