So, which is better, Star Trek, or Star Wars?

Wednesday, 20 May, 2015

The truth is they’re both pretty lousy, but together they’re better than all the others… with apologies to Keith Richards. Presenting The Carbonite Maneuver, a fan made trailer that blends elements of both realms. Non-canonical, obviously.

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Completing the purity test is a test in itself

Friday, 15 May, 2015

Here’s a blast from the past… The Unisex, Omnisexual Purity Test, something I remember taking, or beginning to take, in 1999. I don’t know how many people would have completed the test, given it consists of five hundred questions, but it likely gets right to the core of one’s modesty when that happens.

There is now a slightly easier to take version of the test. In the late 1990s we had to record our answers on paper. Paper? Talk about cruising the electronic frontier that was the information superhighway, hey?

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If we judged films by their names alone, here’s what we might think

Thursday, 7 May, 2015

Talk about winging it… trying to sum up a film based solely on its title. Here’s what was (sort of) made of Requiem For A Dream:

“That was a wonderful dream,” she said, smiling, because of how good the dream was, that she had. “I’m so glad,” he said. “Would you like to tell me about it?” She did.

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A trailer for my maybe not so brilliant career

Thursday, 30 April, 2015

An office worker films the mundane tasks that are part of his job… might this though be a sign of things to come? Rather than placing online and print adverts for jobs, employers could make trailers for vacant positions instead.

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A leaf blown odyssey, follow up to “2001: A Space Odyssey”?

Thursday, 23 April, 2015

The only reason I’m posting this video clip, an advert for a leaf blower, is as testament to the enduring influence of 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Stanley Kurbrick.

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A Kama Sutra for the micro-apartment generation

Thursday, 16 April, 2015

So called micro-apartments, consisting of a floor area of eighty to one hundred and ten square metres (although those dimensions don’t exactly strike me as being “micro”), might be places many of us end up calling home.

This given the rise of property prices, in some places at least, plus the diminishing availability of land in locations where we wish to reside. But what if you and your partner are dedicated followers of the Kama Sutra? How to partake in what could be relatively confined spaces?

Presenting then the Kama Sutra for the Cramped Studio Apartment (safe for work). How do these suggestions sound then?

  • The Suspended Congress Among the Intertwined Power Cords
  • The Dust Bunny Next to the Milk Crates Under the Bed
  • The Tetris Shuffle in the Postage-Stamp-Sized Closet

I’m sold.

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A round up of recent, and most important, scientific discoveries

Thursday, 9 April, 2015

A couple of scientific breakthroughs came to light last week, Wednesday, 1 April, as it happened. Given their significance, I thought I’d quickly highlight them.

First up, computations by some super computers, over what seems like an extended period, have revealed the meaning of life. I kept thinking the result of these calculations seemed familar. But that must have been on account of the media coverage the story would have received.

According to inside sources the answer given by the computer was “42”. What this means will be announced later according to a research representative.

Also, scientists at CERN discerned that the force, as seen throughout the “Star Wars” films, is in fact very real, and not, as previously thought, the stuff of science fiction:

Though four fundamental forces – the strong force, the weak force, the electromagnetic force and gravity – have been well documented and confirmed in experiments over the years, CERN announced today the first unequivocal evidence for the Force. “Very impressive, this result is,” said a diminutive green spokesperson for the laboratory.

This I’ve long suspected. No, scrub that, known, but dared not discuss. Until now. For instance, there’s been many times I’ve uttered words like “you don’t want to sell me death sticks, you want to go home and rethink your life”, and whoever I was talking has taken off, vanished.

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Watching a CD shatter, very slowly, very slowly indeed

Thursday, 2 April, 2015

What happens if you spin a CD disc at 28,000 revolutions per minute, while filming at frame per second (fps) rates, that vary from 28,500, up to a notch over 170,000? Well, there’s only one way to find out. By the way, a four second video, filmed at 170,000 fps, would take seven and a half hours to replay in full.

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Some elegant insults… for a more civilised age, via Martin Luther

Monday, 30 March, 2015

Indeed, gibes for a civilised age, sort of… some of more crass sentences penned by Martin Luther, priest, theology professor, and an initiator of the Protestant Reformation in the sixteenth century. Here’s one to get started:

You are an extraordinary creature, being neither God nor man. Perhaps you are the devil himself.

Ouch. You ought to know, by the way, that Luther’s… taunts have a certain context.

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This is what happens when Daleks attempt to relax

Tuesday, 24 March, 2015

I guess if you’re a Dalek up against a foe like Doctor Who, you’d need a technique, or five, for relaxing after a hard day’s battle. And in what is surely a rare goodwill gesture, our favourite extraterrestrial mutant cyborgs have adapted these methods especially for humans.

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