Perhaps the scope of the Oscars, or Academy Awards, ought to be expanded. We’re talking categories such as most kissing, most death, most time, most music, most running, most cast, most crew, among many other items.
While it is unlikely such awards will be incorporated into this year’s event, The Wall Street Journal has prepared a list of winners nonetheless.
Although denied by one of the show’s producers, the notion that Homer Simpson, of long running TV show The Simpsons, has been been in a coma for some twenty plus years, as advanced by Reddit member Hardtopickaname, remains compelling.
This is clearly Homer’s imagination running wild. With no real world restrictions, Homer’s mind is able to dream up scenarios of him and his family in fantasies involving him winning a Grammy, his father fighting his boss for buried WW2 treasure, his wife getting breast implants, his infant daughter saving him from drowning, etc. The massive amounts of celebrity appearances are easily explained as well. People in comas can sometime hear what people in the same room are saying. While Homer wouldn’t physically react, his mind processes that information and includes it in his dreams.
Perhaps if it is ever decided to cease producing the show, the truth will finally, maybe, come forth, though I suspect any such grand finale would be… inconclusive, to say the least.
Oh, but look, Homer and coma rhyme, what further proof do we need?
Yes, there has been the very rare, excessively rare, occasion, when working for an employer, that I may have spent a little time looking busy, rather than actually being productive. Such carry on is pointless these days, but looking busy, as in really looking busy, is, you should understand, not in the least bit simple.
It turns out that slacking off is serious business: “‘Doing nothing’ while at work can be a very demanding activity requiring planning, collaboration, risk calculation, and ethical consideration,” Paulsen observes. Some subjects turned shirking into a game they found more meaningful than their actual jobs.
On the topic of looking busy, check out Forgotten Employee, something I found a while back, seemingly about a worker at a US company who had been laid off, but continued turning up for work, and on full pay, for years afterwards. If that’s not trying to look busy, what is?
Let’s face it, personal trainers, or fitness coaches, are a dime a dozen. If you were, by chance, considering taking up a career as one, think again. It’s a competitive industry after all, and finding a customer base may prove difficult. That shouldn’t deter you from going into coaching though, it’s just a matter of finding an unexploited niche.
For years, dental hygienists have patiently listened to my evasions when they ask me how much I floss. The real answer is hardly ever. That has to end. But the gap between my intention and follow-through in this area always has been vast. Just knowing that flossing is good for me and desiring to do it have, frankly, never been enough. So I did what any reasonable person in the vicinity of San Francisco in 2015 would do. I used an app to hire a flossing coach.
Happy New Year, and welcome to twenty-fifteen. I hope the holiday break, if you had one that is, was relaxing and enjoyable. Before charging headlong however into the next twelve months, let’s pause for a minute shall we, and reflect on our place in time, fifteen percent of the way into the twenty-first century.
But enough of that, I think. The new year may not have flying cars, hover boards, ready to wear self-drying clothes, or hydratable pizzas, but I dare say there are one or two 1980s style cafes out there somewhere… not that you’d find me anywhere near them. Whatever, here’s hoping twenty-fifteen is a good one.